The lift in my apartment block in London is a claustrophobic's worst nightmare. It is a four foot wide coffin, just big enough for two people and it constantly breaks down. If you don't close the metal gate as you leave, the lift won't work. So when the bloke from the third floor leaves the gate open in the morning on his way to work (every bloody day), I can't call the lift from the top floor (and I have to carry my rubbish down the steps). Similarly, when he comes home, (and leaves it open on the third floor), I have to walk up to the top floor, usually after a run or a gym session.

On Monday, in classic British fashion, someone wrote a sign and stuck it with parcel tape to the 70's-styled, linoleum wall on the inside of the lift. It was very polite, and I was impressed with the succinct wording...

But the haphazard way it was stuck on, with a crease in the middle and mis-aligned blue brio screamed 'temporary' to me. Fearful of our third floor companion with the memory of a goldfish, I put aside half an hour to create a more permanent installation.

I've learned from my career in advertising that nothing sticks in a person's head like a good hook. Since placing the poster below, the lift has worked every single time I've called it. I've never had a more successful campaign, even though my neighbours think I'm a complete twat.