Posted on May 31, 2017

While watching the Premier League this year, two of my friends (Steven Bradshaw and Paul Child) came up with a great game. Basically, you substitute a footballer’s name into a movie title and make it as funny as possible. It’s called Filmballers.

I’m nowhere near as good at this game as those guys (my football knowledge lets me down). The best I could muster were lines like Suarezevoir Dogs, or The Big Lewandowski (terrible)Our WhatsApp thread contained some absolute corkers though, and failing to make much of an impact, Steve suggested a fantastic way for me to contribute.

So I present below, 20 of our greatest Filmballer lines (mainly from Steve and Paul), mocked up in Photoshop as posters by yours truly. Plus, I made a little time-lapse video of the making of ‘Brave Hart’. Enjoy!

Ballack Hawk Down

Brave Hart

Dunne and Dummet

Dyer Dyer

Ghost in Lascelles


Lord of the Ings: Return of the Ing

The Mèxes Chainsaw Massacre

Müllerholland Drive

One flew over Lukaku’s Nest

Peter Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon

Robben Hood


The Silence of the Lahms

Silva Linings Playbook

The Men Who Stare at Götze

Slumdog Mignolet

The Wizard of Özil

We Need to Talk About Kevin Nolan

Ya Ya Land